I have never really had the opportunity to talk about this much..and actually hestitated to do it now. I watched the program on channel
11, and from there I found this website. The really strange part is, I dont live in Chicago anymore, but I flew in the day before the program aired to be with my mother as she was having surgery, and I saw an article in the newspaper about the program. I guess I was suppose to see it.
The night before the fire, I layed in bed and kept having a sense of fear... I told my mother something bad is going to happen at school, I had no vision of fire, just a sense of fear, but it was strong, she just told be to go to sleep and stop being silly. The next morning I still had the feeling, so strong in fact that I refused to go to school, I cried and carried on, my mother was convinced that I didnt do my homework and was afraid to go to class, but I was afraid, and kept on saying something bad is going to happen, as it turned out, she let me stay home that morning because it got late from all the carrying on , but at lunchtime she said YOU WILL GO TO SCHOOL....and I did!
I can honestly say I dont think about it much... I dont want to...but this week I cant seem to stop thinking about it.
We were at our desks in room 212 and I can still see the page in the book... It was Geography.. and there was a picture of children sitting on a beach somewhere, I can still see the seashells in that picture. I remember hearing what sounded like a choir, Sister even said " maybe they are practicing in the church " but later it was said there was no one singing in the church... to this day Im convinced it was the Angels coming to escort the children to heaven. I can still hear little Robert Anglim (he sat in the first row, right by the door) say... Sister... smoke!!!! it was seeping in trough the door... but he couldnt open it...It was rattling, and then Sister tried, but there was really nothing she could do either,we couldnt get out of the room, so she told us to stay at our desks and pray. We did that for awhile, but soon it was all out of control...from here my memory is out of focus... The room filled with smoke so fast... you couldnt see... somehow I was blessed and sat in the row next to the windows, but I didnt know what to do.. The boys started throwing books and things to break the widows and soon everyone in the room was pushing against me to reach the windows for air or escape. I was holding a girl named Maria's hand.. Maria was a bit older than the rest of us.. she was from Italy and didnt speak English well, I use to take her to my Grandmothers house for lunch sometimes. My grandmother lived on Iowa and Lawndale.. and she use to speak to Maria in Italian... anyway Maria started to laugh and I remember telling her this isnt funny Maria... I didnt realize then that it was hysterical laughter. Maria and I were seperated there at the windows and somehow I lived and she didnt.
I crawled up on the window ledge and stratled the ledge with one leg outside and one over the radiator.. one hand on that handle on the window and the other one trying to wave smoke away but it was so thick... I remember telling my mother later that it was like mashed potatoes. There was a boy hanging from the sill... I couldnt breathe anymore.. and the children behind me were pushing so hard that I felt that soon I would have to jump.. I couldnt see out the window and honestly thought the firemen werent going to come.. but the boy hanging from the sill ( and I never did see who it was, although I think it was a boy named Frank M. ) He said dont jump they are coming now.. and then I saw a fireman help the boy down.. and reach up for me... I climbed out into his arms, but the latter was short, he got me and led me down and when I hit the air I must of passed out I never remembered getting to the ground, I just remember coming to.. and seeing total chaos. bodies on the ground, flames in room 210 and kids sitting lined up along the wall across the alley.. and thats where I figured I should be.. but somehow I heard my mothers voice in that crowd.. and I crawled up to here and pulled on her coat and said Here I am Mommy... she scooped me up and carried me into the convent... but then I guess she decided she would try to go to my Grandmothers house.. as she walked out carrying me a fireman took over he carried me to an ambulance and we ended up in Franklin Pk hospital... and things were crazy there too.. so much terror going on, parents looking for their children, Hospital staff trying to keep up. I was bandaged on my arms and sent home. My dad was driving home from work and met us at the house... it seemed the whole neighborhood was standing there in front of the house. I was home for about an hour... and throwing up soot... and my ears were burnt badly, no one seemed to notice that at first... I went back to another hospital I was put into an oxygen tent and my burns were tended to there, but that night I was left there alone, most likely in shock, I still dont know why my parents werent allowed to stay. I do remember a firefighter coming in to see me the next morning, he was also a patient, but no one really talked to me. I saw a newspaper, but no one would let me look through it. I was so lucky or blessed, my burns were mostly 2nd degree except for a few 3rd on my arms. my hair was scorched... it was long and in a pony tail.. I remember having it cut off a few weeks later. I smelled smoke on my body for the longest time, as though it had permiated my skin. for awhile,I was so araid of the dark, that I had to have lights on at night. I was afraid of buses or elevators, anything where the doors closed. I still dont like elevators, and flying is so hard for me to do. Im sorry to ramble on... Im not sure there is any real reason to write any of this... but no one ever let me talk not my parents....NO ONE! Whenever I am in a theater,or hotel, or any public assembly, I still search out the exits. I cant light a barbeque, To this day... I always minimize my own pain and just move on...I accept things I probably shouldnt. Yet I tend to everyone elses needs, maybe too much, but I never want anyone to feel the way I feel inside..(overlooked) My husband passed away 5yrs ago and his family was all buried at Queen Of Heaven... so now I have visited the graves of all the victims buried there.
MY children are the only ones who have ever really heard this story... to this day my parents dont want to talk about it. And Im sad to say.. I dont feel real close to them. I respect them but I think Im healthier away from Chicago. The city or the Church.. should offer counceling..Yes, even now, 45yrs later...since there was none available then... And I will freely say that anyone involved..had their lives profoundly affected... weather they realize it or not.
I now live in Florida... and all I can say is... We survived for a reason...and whenever I question Gods presence.. I still remind myself that I truely think I heard the Angels sing that day!
God bless you all...And to the families that lost a child.. I finally have the chance to say... I'm so very sorry!
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