I was in first grade in 1958. My teacher was Sr. Mary Bernadita, BVM. I attended Our Lady Help Of Christians School. I remember hearing the fire trucks towards the end of the day. Strangely though, I had absolutely no idea what was going on. I just thought something was on fire and it didn't concern me as I walked home. It wasn't until my Mother got home that the T.V. was turned on, around 6:00pm for the news.Then, I saw the full horror of what really was happening. For some reason, I was numb. I found it hard to comprehend what I was watching.Perhaps it was shock,and the full import of the news was just too much for me. I think I actually blocked it out.My parents didn't talk of the fire in front of us,news papers were whisked away and I don't recall seeing them at all. What has remained with me was the sound of the fire truck's sirens that day. It seemed to go on for hours. The next day at school, our teachers spoke in hushed voices among themselves. We were asked to pray for the families and the children at OLA. Even the other classmates were quiet on the subject. Nothing was said.Masses were said and we attended them, but still the magnitutde of the event didn't register with me. I do remember lookig out the classroom window to see if there was a great distance to go if an escape was needed in case of a fire.Soon after this, it wasn't long after the fire, a strange thing happened to me. I was standing in class for morning prayers. We were saying the Hail Mary. As I prayed, my vision became to focus on a bright light. This light grew to be as big as the sun. In the light was the Holy Mother. She was calling for me to come to her. I was about to go to her,when Sr.Mary Bernadita began to frantically scream my name. She was ordering me to sit down. I eventually responded to her and the light faded. She immediately rushed me to Mother Superior's office. They talked in hushed voices for a few moments. I was told to sit down in the waiting room. Mother Superior watched me for about an hour before I was sent back to my class. No one called my parents about this.Frankly, I can't imagine what drew Sister's attention to me. I can only guess that my face changed in some way that alarmed her.She never talked to me about it.Why did Our Holy Mother come to me that day? I guess I'll never really know. But I have never forgotten it, nor have I spoken of it until now. The following summer, perhaps it was a little longer, all the wooden staircases and hallways were ripped out and steel staircases were put in. I loved the smell of the old wood and was sorry to see it go. Steel fire doors were also added at this time. Soon after the fire , I heard the rumors of the janitor somehow being responsible for the fire. I found that hard to believe as well, even at that time. In the following months, students from OLA were sent to my scool. They were put in the basement where classrooms were set up for them. They were allowed to leave earlier than the rest of us, I recall. Again, not even curiosity about their presence registered with me. Looking back, I find my reaction very strange. But again, no one talked about it. It was like you already knew that the subject was forbidden to be mentioned. It wasn't until high school that I began to give it any thought. By then, all reminders of the tragedy where wiped away. I wasn't very good at research at that time either. Years later, when I went to the Museum,and I saw the Life Magazine cover there did it finally hit me. The grief rolled over me like a tidal wave.I heard the fire truck sirens again in my head. My husband couldn't understand why I was so upset.The subject was alien to him. It was at that time I really needed to know what happened. Alas, it would be many more years to pass before I saw something on Channel 11 about the OLA fire. That program made me hunt down David Cowan's book, To Sleep With Angels. It was there that all my questions were answered. The deep sadness of that day has never left me.In my subconscious the news report of Dec.1, 1958, remains elusive to me even now. I'd like to see it once again to see why I shut it out.Something happened to me that day, I just don't know what.For reasons I can't explain, I feel a close connection with the tragedy. Though why, I can't say. I'm 55 years old now, and the OLA fire is still a topic few discuss.It therefore was of great interest to recently find this site. I'm still looking for some answers. The webmaster and all of those who have contributed to this website are to be commended on a extraodinary fine documentation of this tragedy. I found myself enraged when I read that the Memorial at the school was desicrated. Thank God, it was rescued and given a home at Holy Family Church. In 1993, I was in great pain. I went to my Chiropractor in Forest Park. One day, he had just gotten back from a seminar. Out of the blue, he mentions a fellow chiropractor who survived the OLA school fire and had his practice in Arlington Heights. He said something very mean about the man who was more successful than he was. I was astounded!Apparently, the Doctor in question, still had visible scars from the fire. I absolutely blew up at my Doctor. My doctor's family moved away from OLA a year before the fire occured.I told my doctor that this man has gone through a life altering tragedy. He may never be the same again. It was wrong of my doctor to feel jealous of his success and that he should be ashamed of himself. God found a way for this man to go on and be a success, one should be overjoyed for him. My doctor, made some form of an apology and I went home. I didn't stay with him after that. I find it curious, that even though I have no direct connection to the fire, it is never far from my thoughts.Perhaps it affected me more than I realize. I have a friend of 22 years now, she is 10 years younger than myself. Here too, she has family who were in the fire and blessedly escaped. Her family attends the anniversary masses. But, even almost 50 years later, the OLA fire is seldom spoken of. For them, it might as well have happened yesterday. As I have gone through this life, the OLA school fire re-emerges at the most unlikely times, from the most unlikely sources. I wonder if anyone else has had a similar experience? I made sure my chilren know of the sad event, I make sure they know to look for fire exits everywhere they go.I insisted that my son pack a flashlight in his bag when he went to college, because the layout of the school was confusing, and in the panic of a fire you'd loose your way.I told him to count the doors to the nearest exit. He, of course thinks I'm being silly about all the precautions. For me however, this is of monumental importance.It has a purpose of course, I just can't tell you what. My heart and thoughts have been with all those who survived and the families of those who didn't. Even though I don't know any of you personally, you are always with me. God Bless you.
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